No Need To Smack Ever - Part 1

Smacking? ABSOLUTELY NOT, never. I'm finding it hard to believe that there are still some MPs who think it's okay to smack a child in order to discipline them!

Not only is this morally wrong, on so many levels, but it's totally unnecessary. I'd be happy to hear from you if you think differently, but I'm going to do a series of blogs which will give tips for handling a child's difficult behaviour AND help them to become confident and willing to co-operate.

Smacking gives out the wrong messages and can easily escalate into something more aggressive, even violent. It says that in order to get what we want we must go around hitting people. Hardly a good example setting is it?

My opinion is that we all so easily label children with things like ADHD in order to help make sense of why our child is misbehaving. I hate anything that gives children, or adults, more reasons to think negatively about themselves or an excuse to continue their innapropriate behaviour.

In all my coaching I will always ask the coachee (in this instance the parent) what their goals are. So  examples for their children could be:

Go to bed when asked
Eat nicely
Respond to requests
Listen, open up, communicate politely
Accepting rules or boundaries

There are so many more! What will they (and YOU!) look like when this thing is achieved?

In all my coaching of young people and/or their parents WITHOUT exception, I have found that a small change in behaviour in one person, brings about a small change of behaviour in another so you also need to set goals for yourself, such as

No more shouting
Listen properly
Have more time to pay attention

Again there are many more, so pick your main aim and describe what we will see, hear and feel when we have achieved it.

Once you have done this write it all down and start keeping a journal of the week's events.

See you in part 2 but in the meantime, let me give you a Top Tip that I was reminded of recently;

When you praise your child (or anyone else for that matter!) don't just say well done, or that was good. Give exact details of what the praise is for, for instance,
"Well done, on eating all your vegetables and sitting still throughout the meal. That was excellent!'

Try it and see the smiles. Children don't always understand what you are giving praise for and so cannot repeat it. Be explicit and you will watch the behaviour happen again.

Until next time....

Mastermind meeting APCTC 4/9

Next months meeting of the Suffolk Association of Professional Coaches, Trainers and Consultants sees us focusing on great copywriting.

We will be welcoming Elspeth Taylor, from Taylor Made, to show us how to write a great campaign by letter, email etc followed by coaching from me and then the q&a mastermind session.

Visitors are welcomed for free on their first visit so if you are a fellow service provider then come along, you have nothing to lose.

Full details and sign up on

Www.apctc.com/suffolk

Calling Simon Clegg!

I have loved football since I started supporting Arsenal in 1971.

Moving to Ipswich as a teenager meant that the Gunners had competition for my heart from Ipswich Town. When I finally couldn't resist the easy trip to the local ground, so began my most important hobby as a 'tractor girl'.

I have been on Radio Suffolk this week to talk about how I think a lack of confidence in some players,is affecting the team,as a whole, resulting in that horrible loss against Southampton.

The physical side of training is not my bag, being a person that hates the gym and any activity that requires using equipment. I love to walk and that's about it.

My area of expertise lays in the bit between the ears, inside the mind of people who are highly skilled at their jobs but not using it to their full potential, for various reasons including lack of self belief and esteem.

I meant it when I boldly proclaimed on the radio that I would willingly use my coaching and NLP skills to help the team out for absolutely nothing!

What would I do then, some have asked.

Self belief for the footballers will be determined by various aspects of their game, mainly associated with their most recent successes, being well prepared, working hard, having a good support structure and an understanding of their own strategy for thinking.

I would start with outcome thinking for the team and individuals
Using NLP (neuro linguistic programming)to tap into their past successes,
Using NLP to enhance team work
Visualisation
Provide tools for staying calm and patient during setbacks
Eliminating self doubt
One to one confidence coaching where relevant

I know that some listeners would have been sceptical about my bold assumption that my reward would be promotion but I can only feel this confident because of the success of my work and clients testimonials.

What have they got to lose? An inspiring manager would bite my arm off for a chance to improve the mental capacity of their athletes.

So Simon Clegg Come on and take up this offer! I am waiting.......