More (not so simple) ways to be Confident

Many of my clients come to me not just for more confidence but also to learn new skills in being assertive, speaking up and increasing their energy and motivation levels.

A common concern is being scared to speak out, either in a meeting or in a social gathering. I have witnessed this many times over myself when I have been at a party or a networking event and find myself being the one that always tries to get people to open up by asking lots of questions and generally being interested, or to join in on any debates, discussions etc.

I have never worried about whether I am knowledgeable enough, being totally content to ask questions for clarity or to say 'Don't know much about that, tell me more'. People love to talk about their area of expertise. However, to not know anything much about anything at all, is not really acceptable if you want to be interesting to others and feel confident.

So I repeat the 10 simple ways to get more Confidence after this next session, which is not so simple to adopt!

• Read a newspaper regularly, either on the web or the paper variety. Listen to the news and keep up to date with what is going on in the world
• Pick the subjects that interest you and find out more by researching, watching programmes or reading books
• Keep up to date with government policy and discuss with others if they agree or not, and why? Don't be afraid to learn from others. We can't know everything! but also make your own mind up by looking at all the facts
• Keep up to date with your own profession. 1 hour per week is minimum for ongoing development and learning
• Get a coach and at least read self development books or listen to audio
• Set your self goals and write an action plan to achieve the one that is top priority. Review, reflect and celebrate achievement
• Ask your boss what you can do to get that promotion. Get clarity on their expectations and find out where you can upskill to progress in work?
• Get yourself a brand new hobby that you always wanted to do and to hell with if you're that good at it!
• Volunteer work - meet people you would not normally associate with and learn how others live
• Pick a theme each year on something new you will do that takes you outside of your comfort zone
• Praise other people all the time. You will be rewarded in so many ways if this becomes a habit.

And to repeat:

10 quick and practical methods to increase your confidence:

    Smile loads! Smile when you meet people and generally be happier even if you’re not feeling that way.

   Learn from the past but don't dwell on that which you can't change. You could even ask yourself 'What was good about that?' for a great reframe of the situation.

 Buy yourself some new clothes, get your hair done, treat yourself to something new. I know you won't need too much encouragement from me on that one!

 Are you prepared for situations? Are you prepared enough to meet any challenge that may come up? Are you prepared for that networking event, that presentation, meeting someone for the first time? If not, get to it.

Play to your strengths. Expose yourself to what you are good at, at every opportunity. Improve your weaknesses and put a plan in place to improve them in time.

Don't be a people-pleaser! Learn how to say no to people, when you really want to. After you’ve said it the first time, there will be no going back. 

 Be in charge of your thoughts at all times. If you’re thinking negative thoughts, you’re probably asking a negative question or focusing on the problem rather than the solution. Change the question to a more positive one.

Whenever you feel stressed ask 'is this really important in the grand scheme of things?' If you're having to make a tough decision, ask yourself how each of the options affect the next 10 hours, 10 days 10 months etc. (I call this my 10/10 rule).

At the end of each day list your achievements and successes throughout that day. Acknowledging them before you ask 'What could I have done better?' is a great discipline.

   

Every morning when you’re in the shower, visualise your day as though it was already a success. Visualise success and the relevant confidence and it will be so.

10 simple ways to increase your confidence

10 quick and practical methods to increase your confidence:

    Smile loads! Smile when you meet people and generally be happier even if you’re not feeling that way.

   Learn from the past but don't dwell on that which you can't change. You could even ask yourself 'What was good about that?' for a great reframe of the situation.

 Buy yourself some new clothes, get your hair done, treat yourself to something new. I know you won't need too much encouragement from me on that one!

 Are you prepared for situations? Are you prepared enough to meet any challenge that may come up? Are you prepared for that networking event, that presentation, meeting someone for the first time? If not, get to it.

Play to your strengths. Expose yourself to what you are good at, at every opportunity. Improve your weaknesses and put a plan in place to improve them in time.

Don't be a people-pleaser! Learn how to say no to people, when you really want to. After you’ve said it the first time, there will be no going back. 

 Be in charge of your thoughts at all times. If you’re thinking negative thoughts, you’re probably asking a negative question or focusing on the problem rather than the solution. Change the question to a more positive one.

Whenever you feel stressed ask 'is this really important in the grand scheme of things?' If you're having to make a tough decision, ask yourself how each of the options affect the next 10 hours, 10 days 10 months etc. (I call this my 10/10 rule).

At the end of each day list your achievements and successes throughout that day. Acknowledging them before you ask 'What could I have done better?' is a great discipline.

   

Every morning when you’re in the shower, visualise your day as though it was already a success. Visualise success and the relevant confidence and it will be so.

No Need to Smack Ever - Part 2

As is said many times, we're not given a manual when it comes to parenting. This is true but I believe we don't need one.

We have something much better instead. It's called intuition and knowledge of one's own child. Every person in the whole world is unique and that includes babies, toddlers and young adults. Having someone else tell you what to do, is helpful sometimes but if all parents not only trusted their intuition but acted upon it too, we could throw away any 'one size fits all' instruction manual.

However, the main point here is that not everyone acts upon their intuition because sometimes it's easier to let things go rather than to confront properly. So I am not coming from an 'expert' position, rather one that says 'you are the best person to know what's best' but don't forget the basics. Here are my 7 Steps

1) As already stated in part 1, praise and encouragement of the behaviour you do want is paramount along with rewarding only good behaviour

2) Set a good example. Children will copy anyone and everyone especially siblings and parents. Shouting, smacking, sulking etc are unattractive at any age!

3) Set clear boundaries and stick to them. Losing a battle will cost you the war. It is essential that parents are united here, so discuss with your partner and then agree to stick with them. And this means that everyone agrees to the house rules, not just the children!

4) Spend quality time with them, doing interesting and educational activities. Talk with them and make them feel interesting, showing lots of affection and praise.

5) Stick It To them! - use behaviour gold and silver stars on a chart, showing them visually how they are rewarded for good behaviour and reaching their goals. Children adore sticking a gold star onto their chart!

6) Use open questions when teaching them something, rather than keep telling them what to do. For instance 'so what's the next thing we need to do when...'

7) Keep it simple - give calm and easy instructions. Too many and you will confuse them. Too little and they will not understand. Don't overwhelm and make it interesting for them to learn, or to do as they are asked.

Add your own number 8. Something that is needed especially for your child. It could be something you have meant to do for a long time but have yet to instigate or a new idea that has come to you whilst reading this. Have a think and make a decision now to carry it through.

Trust yourself and your children.

Develop Your Leadership Charisma - from within!

Develop your leadership charisma — from within!

Leaders of all levels,


You're already climbing the success ladder.
Nevertheless, if you recognize you could do with being one or two notches more effective than you are — and would like to be more influential and charismatic in your leadership style — then this is for you! Developed by Master NLP coach and trainer Steve Woolston and myself, we wanted to give you something a bit different but really powerful. We think you will not only benefit enormously from this training but will find it enjoyable and fun. If you are a leader, whether it be newly promoted or in post for several years then read on..

When Aeschines spoke, they said, "How well he speaks."
But when Demosthenes spoke, they said, "Let us march against Philip." — David Ogilvy

Charisma is one of the keys to effective leadership and in this two-day workshop, coaches, consultants and trainers Stephen Woolston and myself will help you develop your leadership charisma.

Your clear and congruent leadership message
Your ability to get into confident and charismatic states whenever you need to
Your ability to design your communication around the responses you want to get
Your ability to communicate your message and conviction in an engaging and magnetic way

Imagine being the kind of leader that when you speak, people listen!

We will explore some of the language and behaviour patterns that make communication engaging and get you using them — the kind of language and behaviour patterns that made speeches such as Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" so memorable, and John F Kennedy's pledge to put a man on the moon.

There are patterns and they can be learned.

Workshop details Date: Thursday and Friday, 19th to 20th April 2012 Location:
The exact venue is to be confirmed, but the course will be somewhere between Norwich and Ipswich to be accessible to leaders in both these great places.
Your investment: The full delegate rate is £497, but see the special offers below.

SPECIAL OFFERS! For early bird bookings placed by the end of February, places are available at a discounted rate of just £297. And if you bring a friend on to the course, get an additional £50 off your own place.

BOOK HERE. http://charismafromwithin-estw.eventbrite.co.uk

DANAMIC Coaching to help Release Your Genius

What is DANAMIC Coaching?
It is, quite frankly, the most advanced and comprehensive life/personal coach training system in the UK today.
It is VERY powerful stuff and consists of 8 one to one coaching sessions of approx 90 mins each.
It combines the very latest in NLP, NAC, hypnosis, time line therapy and coaching techniques into one simple 7 step system for change and was developed by one of my favourite coaches and colleagues, Andy Harrington.
I can use this system to;

• Make you confident and happy
• Help you lose weight even after years of trying
• Improve your relationships
• Help you to become confident and successful in your business
• Eliminate negative and sabotaging behaviour
• Eliminate stress and lack of energy
• Release the genius that is in you

I promise that you will be blown away by the results and I have a money back guarantee policy which I am happy to discuss with you.
A two week holiday or designer outfit could cost you more than this programme. However this is an investment in your whole life, not just one occasion!
Please read this from one of my recent clients who invested in this programme:

Testimonial from Sally In Ipswich
I am writing this because I am delighted at the positive effect on my outlook following the DANAMIC coaching sessions.
I had been struggling with my weight for over 30 years and it affected my life.
When I first started to follow diets I was slim and a size 10/12 but had friends who were smaller so always felt enormous. I started with starving myself and ended up bingeing when I couldn’t cope with the hunger. For many years my weight only went up slightly but it was still making me miserable. I was either being ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and it took over my life.
When I had my children I managed to lose quite a bit of weight but I never got low enough to be happy and even though I stopped the starving and bingeing. I still did not feel in control.
About eight years ago I got fed up with the diets and every time I joined a slimming club it lasted just a short time as I could never cope with the disappointment when I did not lose. Unfortunately this meant I have put on five stone in eight years.
When I started the coaching sessions with Nadia, I did not really believe that it would work. The first few sessions were challenging but I found it easier to answer the questions than in previous counselling sessions.
I also found I was having a more positive attitude and concentrating on other things beside my weight. I now know that I will achieve my goals in my personal and business life.
After about five sessions I felt an amazing calm and happiness. I also felt extremely strong. This continued through all the sessions and after. Of course, it does not stop things going wrong but it made it easier to cope with what life threw at me, something that I failed at before by turning to food.
I would thoroughly recommend DANAMIC coaching, for remarkable results.