Thursday, 5 April 2012
Friday, 16 March 2012
More (not so simple) ways to be Confident
Many of my clients come to me not just for more confidence but also to learn new skills in being assertive, speaking up and increasing their energy and motivation levels.
A common concern is being scared to speak out, either in a meeting or in a social gathering. I have witnessed this many times over myself when I have been at a party or a networking event and find myself being the one that always tries to get people to open up by asking lots of questions and generally being interested, or to join in on any debates, discussions etc.
I have never worried about whether I am knowledgeable enough, being totally content to ask questions for clarity or to say 'Don't know much about that, tell me more'. People love to talk about their area of expertise. However, to not know anything much about anything at all, is not really acceptable if you want to be interesting to others and feel confident.
So I repeat the 10 simple ways to get more Confidence after this next session, which is not so simple to adopt!
A common concern is being scared to speak out, either in a meeting or in a social gathering. I have witnessed this many times over myself when I have been at a party or a networking event and find myself being the one that always tries to get people to open up by asking lots of questions and generally being interested, or to join in on any debates, discussions etc.
I have never worried about whether I am knowledgeable enough, being totally content to ask questions for clarity or to say 'Don't know much about that, tell me more'. People love to talk about their area of expertise. However, to not know anything much about anything at all, is not really acceptable if you want to be interesting to others and feel confident.
So I repeat the 10 simple ways to get more Confidence after this next session, which is not so simple to adopt!
- Read a newspaper regularly, either on the web or the paper variety. Listen to the news and keep up to date with what is going on in the world
- Pick the subjects that interest you and find out more by researching, watching programmes or reading books
- Keep up to date with government policy and discuss with others if they agree or not, and why? Don't be afraid to learn from others. We can't know everything! but also make your own mind up by looking at all the facts
- Keep up to date with your own profession. 1 hour per week is minimum for ongoing development and learning
- Get a coach and at least read self development books or listen to audio
- Set your self goals and write an action plan to achieve the one that is top priority. Review, reflect and celebrate achievement
- Ask your boss what you can do to get that promotion. Get clarity on their expectations and find out where you can upskill to progress in work?
- Get yourself a brand new hobby that you always wanted to do and to hell with if you're that good at it!
- Volunteer work - meet people you would not normally associate with and learn how others live
- Pick a theme each year on something new you will do that takes you outside of your comfort zone
- Praise other people all the time. You will be rewarded in so many ways if this becomes a habit.
And to repeat:
10 quick and practical methods to increase your confidence:
Smile loads! Smile when you meet people and generally be happier even if you’re not feeling that way.
Learn from the past but don't dwell on that which you can't change. You could even ask yourself 'What was good about that?' for a great reframe of the situation.
Buy yourself some new clothes, get your hair done, treat yourself to something new. I know you won't need too much encouragement from me on that one!
Are you prepared for situations? Are you prepared enough to meet any challenge that may come up? Are you prepared for that networking event, that presentation, meeting someone for the first time? If not, get to it.
Play to your strengths. Expose yourself to what you are good at, at every opportunity. Improve your weaknesses and put a plan in place to improve them in time.
Don't be a people-pleaser! Learn how to say no to people, when you really want to. After you’ve said it the first time, there will be no going back.
Be in charge of your thoughts at all times. If you’re thinking negative thoughts, you’re probably asking a negative question or focusing on the problem rather than the solution. Change the question to a more positive one.
Whenever you feel stressed ask 'is this really important in the grand scheme of things?' If you're having to make a tough decision, ask yourself how each of the options affect the next 10 hours, 10 days 10 months etc. (I call this my 10/10 rule).
At the end of each day list your achievements and successes throughout that day. Acknowledging them before you ask 'What could I have done better?' is a great discipline.
Every morning when you’re in the shower, visualise your day as though it was already a success. Visualise success and the relevant confidence and it will be so.
In Appreciation of Mothers
I thought I would do something different for the special occasion that is Mother's Day. It is important that we validate our love for family and friends on a regular basis and so I have written this poem, dedicated to my mother who, like many others, has not been perfect but has been crucial to my happiness, throughout my life.
The love of a mother to her child
Can there be one more enduring and deep?
She who makes many sacrifices all her life
And is always there for us when we weep
The love of a mother to her child
Can it ever be properly returned?
All we can do is replicate with our own
And give unconditionally, as we have learned
So whether you are one or both
Let’s rejoice in the wonder that is Mother
And say a big thanks for their love,
support, comfort, direction and other!
By Nadia Cenci
Friday, 9 March 2012
Are You Rich?
I remember reading
an article that stated that the constant pursuit of happiness can make us
miserable! Allegedly it’s because we are generally not satisfied and always looking
for more of everything - more shoes, more clothes, bigger cars and houses etc
etc.
Not only
that it alluded to happiness being short lived resulting in us looking to
bigger and better things.
This may be
true of some, perhaps those that lack self esteem and think others are
measuring them against their material possessions. They constantly compare
themselves, instead of measuring their own self development.
I believe
that those that are truly happy inside, do not pursue more and more, but
instead live a life of gratitude and contentment whilst giving to others (this
in itself is a richly fulfilling experience).
So are you Rich?
I don’t mean
in money terms but in real honest every day life terms. Do you love your job,
friends, family, hobbies and most importantly yourself? Do your activities give you great joy and excitement? Are you learing something new all the time? Do you give to others?
Being rich
means feeling and being at your best, recognising the importance of goal
setting and goal attainment, for it is more than useful to know what you want
to do with your life and where you want to go.
It's also
very important to know what type of person you want to be as well and how you can continue the journey of personal and emotional intelligence.
The direction that self improvement
should come from is not one of inadequacy. Instead, it should come from the belief that you are already a wonderful unique person and want to improve even further.
The self
image that you show to everyone is the external result of your internal
self-esteem and richness presents a dignified presence to the world. ‘Rich’
people let others know “I am a good person. I deserve to be respected.”
In order for
you to maximise your potential in life and feel rich, you must be able to put
yourself into a position whereby you feel good about yourself so that you can
radiate the confidence, energy and enthusiasm required to be a success. Otherwise,
there will always be something that will be holding you back - the effects of a
low self-esteem.
You see,
when we can love and respect ourselves, it is possible to feel truly confident and
assured. And living like this brings all sorts of rewards. One of Richness!
Assertiveness - Confidently Saying No!
One of the most common attributes, of those that tell me they are not assertive, is the need to say yes to everything, when really they want to say NO sometimes!
I've experienced friends like this, who want to please people, but actually let you down far more by double booking, opting out at the last moment and generally causing havoc!
It really doesn't benefit anyone to be a people-pleaser!
So learn to say No and take control of your life.
I've experienced friends like this, who want to please people, but actually let you down far more by double booking, opting out at the last moment and generally causing havoc!
It really doesn't benefit anyone to be a people-pleaser!
So learn to say No and take control of your life.
Saying “NO” and meaning it!
How can you confidently
respond when someone makes a request you’d prefer not to accommodate?
The question has just been posed.
Pause.
Was your inclination to say yes, even though there’s a voice deep down
saying “no.” If thats the case then let’s raise the volume on that inner voice.
What possible reasons could there be for saying no?
§ It’s beyond your means?
§ It’s beyond your comfort level?
§ You're on a diet and going out will wreck it?
§ You're being taken for granted?
Identify all the reasons you have for saying “no.” Identify which stem from a lack of
confidence, versus a sincere wish to say no.
What would happen if you said yes?
Perhaps:
§ You would be considered a teamplayer
§ It would make that person happy
§ You would be doing something outside your comfort box
§ You will be doing a good favour
Would the
discomfort involved in saying yes outweigh the benefits of possibly going along
with the request? Or vice-versa? Is it a favour and one that is absolutely needed right now and so No is out of the question? Would you like to be persuaded to go outside your comfort zone?
What is the cost v benefit?
The role of guilt
Saying “no” is hard for many of us. We feel so guilty and want people to like us. Instead of analysing our feelings we tend to just jump in with a Yes and worry about it all later. However being authentic, honest to self and others are values that should be held dearly if we are to be confident and contented.
Saying “NO”
You’ve made the decision, after completely weighing the results of
your cost/benefit analysis, to honestly say “NO”.
Well, go ahead and say it clearly, and self-assuredly...in the
mirror.
Look yourself in the eye, and do it.
Just say “NO.”
Say it like you really mean it, and then say it again as you would to
whomever made the request of you. When
you pretend you’re speaking to the person who made the request, does it come
out differently?
After you say “NO”
If you’re used to giving in to others, then guess what?
You may or many not be surprised to find that they are
not willing to accept it! They may be a littel indignant and they may push, rephrase the question, or make a new, not dissimilar request.
Be prepared for this and know your
boundary—what ARE you willing to do? Work it out beforehand and, like any negotiating table, have your 'walk away point'.
Revisit the questions you asked yourself before—what would happen if you
said no, or yes?
If you are serious about saying “NO” then stick to your guns.
Tell the individual making the request that you would appreciate it if
they respected your wishes, and ask them to refrain from pursuing it
further.
If you are comfortable expressing your “reasons why” then do so speaking
from your personal perspective. In fact this does help to alleviate the no. Most people are very reasonable with a rejection of their request, if they understand and have empathy with the other person.
The Pause Button
Don’t forget that when anyone asks a question of you, you are perfectly
OK to say, “Can I think about that and get back to you”. No-one should be pressurised into giving an immediate answer, even if
the delay is only a couple of minutes. It will give you some time to think it through
and to gather your thoughts.
It will give you time to analyse what you really want to do, weigh up everything and prepare the response.
What will happen when you are more assertive?
§ You will feel much more confident and proud. Your self-esteem will grow
§ You will find that practice makes perfect—the more
you confidently say “NO” the easier it becomes.
§ Others will respect your wishes and take you
seriously and appreciate you more when you say Yes
§ You won’t find yourself doing things you never
wanted to do in the first place.
§ You’ll have more time to focus on the things you do
want to be involved in.
§ And so on...
Wednesday, 22 February 2012
10 simple ways to increase your confidence
10 quick and practical methods to increase your confidence:
Smile loads! Smile when
you meet people and generally be happier even if
you’re not feeling that way.
Learn
from the past but don't dwell on that which you can't change. You could even ask yourself 'What was good about that?' for a great reframe of the situation.
Buy
yourself some new clothes, get your hair done, treat yourself to something new. I know you won't need too much encouragement from me on that one!
Are
you prepared for situations? Are you prepared enough to meet any challenge that
may come up? Are you prepared for that networking event, that presentation, meeting someone for the first time? If not, get to it.
Play
to your strengths. Expose yourself to what you are good at, at every opportunity. Improve
your weaknesses and put a plan in place to improve them in time.
Don't be a people-pleaser! Learn
how to say no to people, when you really want to. After you’ve said it the first time, there will be no going back.
Be
in charge of your thoughts at all times. If you’re
thinking negative thoughts, you’re probably asking a negative question or focusing on the problem rather than the solution. Change
the question to a more positive one.
Whenever you feel stressed ask 'is this really
important in the grand scheme of things?' If you're having to make a tough decision, ask yourself how each of the options affect the next 10 hours, 10 days 10 months etc. (I call this my 10/10 rule).
At
the end of each day list your achievements and successes throughout that day. Acknowledging them before you ask 'What could I have done better?' is a great discipline.
Every
morning when you’re in the shower, visualise your day as though it was already a success. Visualise success and the relevant confidence and it will be so.
Monday, 6 February 2012
No Need to Smack Ever - Part 2
As is said many times, we're not given a manual when it comes to parenting. This is true but I believe we don't need one.
We have something much better instead. It's called intuition and knowledge of one's own child. Every person in the whole world is unique and that includes babies, toddlers and young adults. Having someone else tell you what to do, is helpful sometimes but if all parents not only trusted their intuition but acted upon it too, we could throw away any 'one size fits all' instruction manual.
However, the main point here is that not everyone acts upon their intuition because sometimes it's easier to let things go rather than to confront properly. So I am not coming from an 'expert' position, rather one that says 'you are the best person to know what's best' but don't forget the basics. Here are my 7 Steps
1) As already stated in part 1, praise and encouragement of the behaviour you do want is paramount along with rewarding only good behaviour
2) Set a good example. Children will copy anyone and everyone especially siblings and parents. Shouting, smacking, sulking etc are unattractive at any age!
3) Set clear boundaries and stick to them. Losing a battle will cost you the war. It is essential that parents are united here, so discuss with your partner and then agree to stick with them. And this means that everyone agrees to the house rules, not just the children!
4) Spend quality time with them, doing interesting and educational activities. Talk with them and make them feel interesting, showing lots of affection and praise.
5) Stick It To them! - use behaviour gold and silver stars on a chart, showing them visually how they are rewarded for good behaviour and reaching their goals. Children adore sticking a gold star onto their chart!
6) Use open questions when teaching them something, rather than keep telling them what to do. For instance 'so what's the next thing we need to do when...'
7) Keep it simple - give calm and easy instructions. Too many and you will confuse them. Too little and they will not understand. Don't overwhelm and make it interesting for them to learn, or to do as they are asked.
Add your own number 8. Something that is needed especially for your child. It could be something you have meant to do for a long time but have yet to instigate or a new idea that has come to you whilst reading this. Have a think and make a decision now to carry it through.
Trust yourself and your children.
We have something much better instead. It's called intuition and knowledge of one's own child. Every person in the whole world is unique and that includes babies, toddlers and young adults. Having someone else tell you what to do, is helpful sometimes but if all parents not only trusted their intuition but acted upon it too, we could throw away any 'one size fits all' instruction manual.
However, the main point here is that not everyone acts upon their intuition because sometimes it's easier to let things go rather than to confront properly. So I am not coming from an 'expert' position, rather one that says 'you are the best person to know what's best' but don't forget the basics. Here are my 7 Steps
1) As already stated in part 1, praise and encouragement of the behaviour you do want is paramount along with rewarding only good behaviour
2) Set a good example. Children will copy anyone and everyone especially siblings and parents. Shouting, smacking, sulking etc are unattractive at any age!
3) Set clear boundaries and stick to them. Losing a battle will cost you the war. It is essential that parents are united here, so discuss with your partner and then agree to stick with them. And this means that everyone agrees to the house rules, not just the children!
4) Spend quality time with them, doing interesting and educational activities. Talk with them and make them feel interesting, showing lots of affection and praise.
5) Stick It To them! - use behaviour gold and silver stars on a chart, showing them visually how they are rewarded for good behaviour and reaching their goals. Children adore sticking a gold star onto their chart!
6) Use open questions when teaching them something, rather than keep telling them what to do. For instance 'so what's the next thing we need to do when...'
7) Keep it simple - give calm and easy instructions. Too many and you will confuse them. Too little and they will not understand. Don't overwhelm and make it interesting for them to learn, or to do as they are asked.
Add your own number 8. Something that is needed especially for your child. It could be something you have meant to do for a long time but have yet to instigate or a new idea that has come to you whilst reading this. Have a think and make a decision now to carry it through.
Trust yourself and your children.
Wednesday, 1 February 2012
No Need To Smack Ever - Part 1
Smacking? ABSOLUTELY NOT, never. I'm finding it hard to believe that there are still some MPs who think it's okay to smack a child in order to discipline them!
Not only is this morally wrong, on so many levels, but it's totally unnecessary. I'd be happy to hear from you if you think differently, but I'm going to do a series of blogs which will give tips for handling a child's difficult behaviour AND help them to become confident and willing to co-operate.
Smacking gives out the wrong messages and can easily escalate into something more aggressive, even violent. It says that in order to get what we want we must go around hitting people. Hardly a good example setting is it?
My opinion is that we all so easily label children with things like ADHD in order to help make sense of why our child is misbehaving. I hate anything that gives children, or adults, more reasons to think negatively about themselves or an excuse to continue their innapropriate behaviour.
In all my coaching I will always ask the coachee (in this instance the parent) what their goals are. So examples for their children could be:
Go to bed when asked
Eat nicely
Respond to requests
Listen, open up, communicate politely
Accepting rules or boundaries
There are so many more! What will they (and YOU!) look like when this thing is achieved?
In all my coaching of young people and/or their parents WITHOUT exception, I have found that a small change in behaviour in one person, brings about a small change of behaviour in another so you also need to set goals for yourself, such as
No more shouting
Listen properly
Have more time to pay attention
Again there are many more, so pick your main aim and describe what we will see, hear and feel when we have achieved it.
Once you have done this write it all down and start keeping a journal of the week's events.
See you in part 2 but in the meantime, let me give you a Top Tip that I was reminded of recently;
When you praise your child (or anyone else for that matter!) don't just say well done, or that was good. Give exact details of what the praise is for, for instance,
"Well done, on eating all your vegetables and sitting still throughout the meal. That was excellent!'
Try it and see the smiles. Children don't always understand what you are giving praise for and so cannot repeat it. Be explicit and you will watch the behaviour happen again.
Until next time....
Not only is this morally wrong, on so many levels, but it's totally unnecessary. I'd be happy to hear from you if you think differently, but I'm going to do a series of blogs which will give tips for handling a child's difficult behaviour AND help them to become confident and willing to co-operate.
Smacking gives out the wrong messages and can easily escalate into something more aggressive, even violent. It says that in order to get what we want we must go around hitting people. Hardly a good example setting is it?
My opinion is that we all so easily label children with things like ADHD in order to help make sense of why our child is misbehaving. I hate anything that gives children, or adults, more reasons to think negatively about themselves or an excuse to continue their innapropriate behaviour.
In all my coaching I will always ask the coachee (in this instance the parent) what their goals are. So examples for their children could be:
Go to bed when asked
Eat nicely
Respond to requests
Listen, open up, communicate politely
Accepting rules or boundaries
There are so many more! What will they (and YOU!) look like when this thing is achieved?
In all my coaching of young people and/or their parents WITHOUT exception, I have found that a small change in behaviour in one person, brings about a small change of behaviour in another so you also need to set goals for yourself, such as
No more shouting
Listen properly
Have more time to pay attention
Again there are many more, so pick your main aim and describe what we will see, hear and feel when we have achieved it.
Once you have done this write it all down and start keeping a journal of the week's events.
See you in part 2 but in the meantime, let me give you a Top Tip that I was reminded of recently;
When you praise your child (or anyone else for that matter!) don't just say well done, or that was good. Give exact details of what the praise is for, for instance,
"Well done, on eating all your vegetables and sitting still throughout the meal. That was excellent!'
Try it and see the smiles. Children don't always understand what you are giving praise for and so cannot repeat it. Be explicit and you will watch the behaviour happen again.
Until next time....
Tuesday, 24 January 2012
Develop Your Leadership Charisma - from within!
Develop your leadership charisma — from within!
Leaders of all levels,
You're already climbing the success ladder.
Nevertheless, if you recognize you could do with being one or two notches more effective than you are — and would like to be more influential and charismatic in your leadership style — then this is for you! Developed by Master NLP coach and trainer Steve Woolston and myself, we wanted to give you something a bit different but really powerful. We think you will not only benefit enormously from this training but will find it enjoyable and fun. If you are a leader, whether it be newly promoted or in post for several years then read on..
When Aeschines spoke, they said, "How well he speaks."
But when Demosthenes spoke, they said, "Let us march against Philip." — David Ogilvy
Charisma is one of the keys to effective leadership and in this two-day workshop, coaches, consultants and trainers Stephen Woolston and myself will help you develop your leadership charisma.
Your clear and congruent leadership message
Your ability to get into confident and charismatic states whenever you need to
Your ability to design your communication around the responses you want to get
Your ability to communicate your message and conviction in an engaging and magnetic way
Imagine being the kind of leader that when you speak, people listen!
We will explore some of the language and behaviour patterns that make communication engaging and get you using them — the kind of language and behaviour patterns that made speeches such as Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" so memorable, and John F Kennedy's pledge to put a man on the moon.
There are patterns and they can be learned.
Workshop details Date: Thursday and Friday, 19th to 20th April 2012 Location:
The exact venue is to be confirmed, but the course will be somewhere between Norwich and Ipswich to be accessible to leaders in both these great places.
Your investment: The full delegate rate is £497, but see the special offers below.
SPECIAL OFFERS! For early bird bookings placed by the end of February, places are available at a discounted rate of just £297. And if you bring a friend on to the course, get an additional £50 off your own place.
BOOK HERE. http://charismafromwithin-estw.eventbrite.co.uk
Leaders of all levels,
You're already climbing the success ladder.
Nevertheless, if you recognize you could do with being one or two notches more effective than you are — and would like to be more influential and charismatic in your leadership style — then this is for you! Developed by Master NLP coach and trainer Steve Woolston and myself, we wanted to give you something a bit different but really powerful. We think you will not only benefit enormously from this training but will find it enjoyable and fun. If you are a leader, whether it be newly promoted or in post for several years then read on..
When Aeschines spoke, they said, "How well he speaks."
But when Demosthenes spoke, they said, "Let us march against Philip." — David Ogilvy
Charisma is one of the keys to effective leadership and in this two-day workshop, coaches, consultants and trainers Stephen Woolston and myself will help you develop your leadership charisma.
Your clear and congruent leadership message
Your ability to get into confident and charismatic states whenever you need to
Your ability to design your communication around the responses you want to get
Your ability to communicate your message and conviction in an engaging and magnetic way
Imagine being the kind of leader that when you speak, people listen!
We will explore some of the language and behaviour patterns that make communication engaging and get you using them — the kind of language and behaviour patterns that made speeches such as Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" so memorable, and John F Kennedy's pledge to put a man on the moon.
There are patterns and they can be learned.
Workshop details Date: Thursday and Friday, 19th to 20th April 2012 Location:
The exact venue is to be confirmed, but the course will be somewhere between Norwich and Ipswich to be accessible to leaders in both these great places.
Your investment: The full delegate rate is £497, but see the special offers below.
SPECIAL OFFERS! For early bird bookings placed by the end of February, places are available at a discounted rate of just £297. And if you bring a friend on to the course, get an additional £50 off your own place.
BOOK HERE. http://charismafromwithin-estw.eventbrite.co.uk
Monday, 19 December 2011
Being the Captain of Your Inner Team
Integrity is the most important quality a person can have. It underlines all the values, that a person holds, and allows them to be evident and congruent in their everyday activities.
To be successful in life, we require the trust and respect of other people, and no more so than in a leadership role. Being a captain, not only means leading others, it also means being in control of your own behaviour, success and life.
Perhaps you may think that you are either born a leader or not, but I happen to think that leadership skills can be taught and then honed with experience, dedication and by practising self discipline, until it becomes a habit.
Role models inspire, motivate, lead and deliver on their promises. They use their values to make decisions and search constantly on how they can help others to succeed. They listen to others fully, without judgment whilst probing and clarifying.
Language is so important and great leaders know that one simple word can be the difference between good conversations and damaging ones.
Take the word BUT for instance. Listening to someone and then saying ‘But’ negates everything they have just said, whereas using the word ‘and’ instead still provides us with a chance to express our own thoughts whilst acknowledging the other person.
'But I don’t want to be the Captain!' You might be thinking. That may be so, but surely you would like to be the Captain of your Inner Team (all the different parts that make the unique You!).
Here are mine:
The Dreamer – To aspire and think big
The Logical Genius – to establish the problem and find solutions
The Voice of Reason – to remain calm and dignified
The Warrior – to be bold, confident and to fight my teams corner
The Intuition Expert – to listen to gut and then shore up the message
Think about the people you admire most. Who are your role models, those that you look up to? What are the qualities and strengths that they exhibit, that makes you admire them.
Find your inner team by aligning those values with your own, give them a name or description as I have with mine, and call upon them whenever they are needed
My book The Beautiful Inner Game is being written at the moment. It will help people to make the changes they want and need to, in their lives, whether it be work, home or both.
To be successful in life, we require the trust and respect of other people, and no more so than in a leadership role. Being a captain, not only means leading others, it also means being in control of your own behaviour, success and life.
Perhaps you may think that you are either born a leader or not, but I happen to think that leadership skills can be taught and then honed with experience, dedication and by practising self discipline, until it becomes a habit.
Role models inspire, motivate, lead and deliver on their promises. They use their values to make decisions and search constantly on how they can help others to succeed. They listen to others fully, without judgment whilst probing and clarifying.
Language is so important and great leaders know that one simple word can be the difference between good conversations and damaging ones.
Take the word BUT for instance. Listening to someone and then saying ‘But’ negates everything they have just said, whereas using the word ‘and’ instead still provides us with a chance to express our own thoughts whilst acknowledging the other person.
'But I don’t want to be the Captain!' You might be thinking. That may be so, but surely you would like to be the Captain of your Inner Team (all the different parts that make the unique You!).
Here are mine:
The Dreamer – To aspire and think big
The Logical Genius – to establish the problem and find solutions
The Voice of Reason – to remain calm and dignified
The Warrior – to be bold, confident and to fight my teams corner
The Intuition Expert – to listen to gut and then shore up the message
Think about the people you admire most. Who are your role models, those that you look up to? What are the qualities and strengths that they exhibit, that makes you admire them.
Find your inner team by aligning those values with your own, give them a name or description as I have with mine, and call upon them whenever they are needed
My book The Beautiful Inner Game is being written at the moment. It will help people to make the changes they want and need to, in their lives, whether it be work, home or both.
Monday, 5 December 2011
DANAMIC Coaching to help Release Your Genius
What is DANAMIC Coaching?
It is, quite frankly, the most advanced and comprehensive life/personal coach training system in the UK today.
It is VERY powerful stuff and consists of 8 one to one coaching sessions of approx 90 mins each.
It combines the very latest in NLP, NAC, hypnosis, time line therapy and coaching techniques into one simple 7 step system for change and was developed by one of my favourite coaches and colleagues, Andy Harrington.
I can use this system to;
A two week holiday or designer outfit could cost you more than this programme. However this is an investment in your whole life, not just one occasion!
Please read this from one of my recent clients who invested in this programme:
Testimonial from Sally In Ipswich
I am writing this because I am delighted at the positive effect on my outlook following the DANAMIC coaching sessions.
I had been struggling with my weight for over 30 years and it affected my life.
When I first started to follow diets I was slim and a size 10/12 but had friends who were smaller so always felt enormous. I started with starving myself and ended up bingeing when I couldn’t cope with the hunger. For many years my weight only went up slightly but it was still making me miserable. I was either being ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and it took over my life.
When I had my children I managed to lose quite a bit of weight but I never got low enough to be happy and even though I stopped the starving and bingeing. I still did not feel in control.
About eight years ago I got fed up with the diets and every time I joined a slimming club it lasted just a short time as I could never cope with the disappointment when I did not lose. Unfortunately this meant I have put on five stone in eight years.
When I started the coaching sessions with Nadia, I did not really believe that it would work. The first few sessions were challenging but I found it easier to answer the questions than in previous counselling sessions.
I also found I was having a more positive attitude and concentrating on other things beside my weight. I now know that I will achieve my goals in my personal and business life.
After about five sessions I felt an amazing calm and happiness. I also felt extremely strong. This continued through all the sessions and after. Of course, it does not stop things going wrong but it made it easier to cope with what life threw at me, something that I failed at before by turning to food.
I would thoroughly recommend DANAMIC coaching, for remarkable results.
It is, quite frankly, the most advanced and comprehensive life/personal coach training system in the UK today.
It is VERY powerful stuff and consists of 8 one to one coaching sessions of approx 90 mins each.
It combines the very latest in NLP, NAC, hypnosis, time line therapy and coaching techniques into one simple 7 step system for change and was developed by one of my favourite coaches and colleagues, Andy Harrington.
I can use this system to;
- Make you confident and happy
- Help you lose weight even after years of trying
- Improve your relationships
- Help you to become confident and successful in your business
- Eliminate negative and sabotaging behaviour
- Eliminate stress and lack of energy
- Release the genius that is in you
A two week holiday or designer outfit could cost you more than this programme. However this is an investment in your whole life, not just one occasion!
Please read this from one of my recent clients who invested in this programme:
Testimonial from Sally In Ipswich
I am writing this because I am delighted at the positive effect on my outlook following the DANAMIC coaching sessions.
I had been struggling with my weight for over 30 years and it affected my life.
When I first started to follow diets I was slim and a size 10/12 but had friends who were smaller so always felt enormous. I started with starving myself and ended up bingeing when I couldn’t cope with the hunger. For many years my weight only went up slightly but it was still making me miserable. I was either being ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and it took over my life.
When I had my children I managed to lose quite a bit of weight but I never got low enough to be happy and even though I stopped the starving and bingeing. I still did not feel in control.
About eight years ago I got fed up with the diets and every time I joined a slimming club it lasted just a short time as I could never cope with the disappointment when I did not lose. Unfortunately this meant I have put on five stone in eight years.
When I started the coaching sessions with Nadia, I did not really believe that it would work. The first few sessions were challenging but I found it easier to answer the questions than in previous counselling sessions.
I also found I was having a more positive attitude and concentrating on other things beside my weight. I now know that I will achieve my goals in my personal and business life.
After about five sessions I felt an amazing calm and happiness. I also felt extremely strong. This continued through all the sessions and after. Of course, it does not stop things going wrong but it made it easier to cope with what life threw at me, something that I failed at before by turning to food.
I would thoroughly recommend DANAMIC coaching, for remarkable results.
Friday, 18 November 2011
Why you should join a mastermind group
I have just finished preparing for Sundays mastermind group and as usual, I am really excited about how much my members will benefit from another great speaker and a coaching session from me.
If you provide a service then you can't afford not to be surrounded by a group of like minded people who you can learn from, support and use as a sounding board.
This is what we have covered so far since we started in Feb 2011:
Know your niche
Develop your USP
How to use social media
Write a marketing strategy
Learn how to make a product to sell
Website enhancements
How to write compelling copy
Making the most of LinkedIn
Using twitter and blog to best effect
Co-coaching concepts
Branding (this week)
On top of that we have access to my colleague Dan Bradbury and faculty members of APCTC such as the fantastic Topher Morrison, Andy Harrington, Jarek Robbins and many more.
free membership to Association of Professional Coaches Trainers and Consultants is automatic when you join my group.
And the real beauty is that you can try it for free once, before making your mind up.
What more can I give you in order for you to get more clients and make more profit?
Book your place on www.apctc.com/Suffolk
If you provide a service then you can't afford not to be surrounded by a group of like minded people who you can learn from, support and use as a sounding board.
This is what we have covered so far since we started in Feb 2011:
Know your niche
Develop your USP
How to use social media
Write a marketing strategy
Learn how to make a product to sell
Website enhancements
How to write compelling copy
Making the most of LinkedIn
Using twitter and blog to best effect
Co-coaching concepts
Branding (this week)
On top of that we have access to my colleague Dan Bradbury and faculty members of APCTC such as the fantastic Topher Morrison, Andy Harrington, Jarek Robbins and many more.
free membership to Association of Professional Coaches Trainers and Consultants is automatic when you join my group.
And the real beauty is that you can try it for free once, before making your mind up.
What more can I give you in order for you to get more clients and make more profit?
Book your place on www.apctc.com/Suffolk
Wednesday, 16 November 2011
Don't miss great speaker at my next Mastermind meeting this Sunday
This Sunday sees our ninth meeting since the mastermind group formed and things are hotting up!
Our guest speaker is Ivan Newman from Living In the Brand who is a much valued friend and colleague.
He will be talking about branding and then we will coach members on how to enhance their brand within their businesses. I know this is going to be so useful and powerful.
This year will be the only times I will be letting in first time visitors for free. So make the most of this fabulous opportunity to listen to a branding expert.
There will also be the usual question and answer session for members to support, offer advice or assist. This is the most valued part of our meeting and some great ideas have come forth. We continue to share knowledge between sessions and in fact my members get to attend my other workshops for free or with a huge discount.
Sign up on my page www.apctc.com/suffolk and look forward to seeing you!
Our guest speaker is Ivan Newman from Living In the Brand who is a much valued friend and colleague.
He will be talking about branding and then we will coach members on how to enhance their brand within their businesses. I know this is going to be so useful and powerful.
This year will be the only times I will be letting in first time visitors for free. So make the most of this fabulous opportunity to listen to a branding expert.
There will also be the usual question and answer session for members to support, offer advice or assist. This is the most valued part of our meeting and some great ideas have come forth. We continue to share knowledge between sessions and in fact my members get to attend my other workshops for free or with a huge discount.
Sign up on my page www.apctc.com/suffolk and look forward to seeing you!
Tuesday, 18 October 2011
New Workshop - Confidently help Your Teens pass their GCSE's
Having completed some research including surveys, I appear to have tapped into a much needed area with my next workshop.
I am about to deliver a brand new unique workshop for parents who want to practically and emotionally help their children to exam success.
This is a very difficult time for parents. There is a fine line between helping, empowering and interfereing in the year of revision, studying and taking the exams. If your children are going to take theirs in the next couple of years, then this is for you.
I have coached many teens on a one to one basis, but I feel it is much more effective, financially and long term to teach the parents the tools I use to help young people pass their exams.
in the 3 hour workshop, I will show you:
How to communicate to bring out the best in your teen's behaviour during this stressful time
How to practically help out subtlely without interfering
How to show them different ways of revising that are fun
How to coach your children to empower them and eliminate procrastination
Motivate and inspire
Top tips and tools that will help the whole family
Dates start in November. Price is £ 55 plus vat
The workshop will be repeated in the evening for those that work.
If you are interested then please contact me on nadia@naccoaching.co.uk to get yourself on preliminary list.
I promise to impress you with my unique style and quality of content and there will also be an opportunity for your child to receive a follow up discounted session from me nearer to their exams.
I am about to deliver a brand new unique workshop for parents who want to practically and emotionally help their children to exam success.
This is a very difficult time for parents. There is a fine line between helping, empowering and interfereing in the year of revision, studying and taking the exams. If your children are going to take theirs in the next couple of years, then this is for you.
I have coached many teens on a one to one basis, but I feel it is much more effective, financially and long term to teach the parents the tools I use to help young people pass their exams.
in the 3 hour workshop, I will show you:
How to communicate to bring out the best in your teen's behaviour during this stressful time
How to practically help out subtlely without interfering
How to show them different ways of revising that are fun
How to coach your children to empower them and eliminate procrastination
Motivate and inspire
Top tips and tools that will help the whole family
Dates start in November. Price is £ 55 plus vat
The workshop will be repeated in the evening for those that work.
If you are interested then please contact me on nadia@naccoaching.co.uk to get yourself on preliminary list.
I promise to impress you with my unique style and quality of content and there will also be an opportunity for your child to receive a follow up discounted session from me nearer to their exams.
Monday, 3 October 2011
Does my 'BUT' look too big?
I have been listening to some recordings from Topher Morrison, one of my favourite coaches and a colleague at APCTC.
He talks about the art of negotiation using NLP tools and reminded me about using the word BUT.
It took me a long while but now I rarely use the word but unless it refers to something I might be saying eg
I would love to go out in the sunshine but I have too much work
After much practice I now replace it with the word AND as much as I can because BUT just negates everything someone has just said to you! The word HOWEVER sort of does too but it not quite so obvious. So for example if a person is expressing an opinion you disagree with, the word AND will build bridges whilst allowing you to still add your opinion.
try it and see the difference when communicating....
He talks about the art of negotiation using NLP tools and reminded me about using the word BUT.
It took me a long while but now I rarely use the word but unless it refers to something I might be saying eg
I would love to go out in the sunshine but I have too much work
After much practice I now replace it with the word AND as much as I can because BUT just negates everything someone has just said to you! The word HOWEVER sort of does too but it not quite so obvious. So for example if a person is expressing an opinion you disagree with, the word AND will build bridges whilst allowing you to still add your opinion.
try it and see the difference when communicating....
Thursday, 8 September 2011
Stereotyping is just a 'shortcut' - Not a Crime!
When I finished reading Cialdini's The Psychology of Persuasion I was particularly satisfied with his final chapter which I will discuss further on in my blog. Before that, I would like to explain why I have titled this piece as I have.
In recent years it has become almost a crime to utter any sort of suggestion where we might be stereotyping. But to do this is to misunderstand one of our greatest gifts, which is to use our intuition and develop 'shortcuts' as Cialdini calls them.
Let me explain:
I truly believe that intuition is a result of millions of pieces of information that we take in, on a subconscious basis, especially if that is reinforced by personal experiences on a conscious basis. When we take an instant dislike to someone or an instant warmth to another human being, it is not down to just random thought processes.
Let's take hoodies for an example, one which is often mentioned. When I feel uncomfortable around a group of people wearing such clothes, it is not merely their headwear that will cause me to be vigilant, but perhaps a look in their eyes where I will see something that makes me feel uncomfortable and on edge. I have always trusted this gut feeling and it has rarely let me down. However this does not mean that I believe I am in danger, just I know my subconscious has computed something which I would be a fool to ignore. It's called survival!
If I take an instant dislike to someone, then I will look for all the evidence to show that I am wrong (yes I repeat, that I am wrong!). I believe everyone has good intentions unless they are in a bad place and I like to find that. Again though, I will eventually work out what it was that made me feel that I would not connect properly with someone because I accept that we will not all be able to work or play with everyone we meet, for all sorts of reasons.
Cialdini talks about the principle of social proof and where one of our shortcuts is to like things that 'people like us' would like too. This is how advertising works. This is, in effect, a form of stereotyping, don't you think?
He talks about things such as long queues outside clubs, that make us want to go in because we are made to believe it must be good, if so many people are doing this, only to find it is nearly empty when we go in. He calls this 'treachery' because it is harming our gift to create shortcuts. Something we need more and more of these days, with all the information that bombards us!
he suggests that we complain loudly when we see such trickery, in order that it is no longer effective and thus protecting the accuracy of our shortcuts. I have always said this and so totally agree.
I loved it, not just because he delivers this theory in such an eloquent and intelligent way but because it helps me to explain why stereotyping does not have to be a negative thing! Judgements are here to stay so let's just understand why we think and feel the way we do sometimes. And above all, never ignore your intuition!
In recent years it has become almost a crime to utter any sort of suggestion where we might be stereotyping. But to do this is to misunderstand one of our greatest gifts, which is to use our intuition and develop 'shortcuts' as Cialdini calls them.
Let me explain:
I truly believe that intuition is a result of millions of pieces of information that we take in, on a subconscious basis, especially if that is reinforced by personal experiences on a conscious basis. When we take an instant dislike to someone or an instant warmth to another human being, it is not down to just random thought processes.
Let's take hoodies for an example, one which is often mentioned. When I feel uncomfortable around a group of people wearing such clothes, it is not merely their headwear that will cause me to be vigilant, but perhaps a look in their eyes where I will see something that makes me feel uncomfortable and on edge. I have always trusted this gut feeling and it has rarely let me down. However this does not mean that I believe I am in danger, just I know my subconscious has computed something which I would be a fool to ignore. It's called survival!
If I take an instant dislike to someone, then I will look for all the evidence to show that I am wrong (yes I repeat, that I am wrong!). I believe everyone has good intentions unless they are in a bad place and I like to find that. Again though, I will eventually work out what it was that made me feel that I would not connect properly with someone because I accept that we will not all be able to work or play with everyone we meet, for all sorts of reasons.
Cialdini talks about the principle of social proof and where one of our shortcuts is to like things that 'people like us' would like too. This is how advertising works. This is, in effect, a form of stereotyping, don't you think?
He talks about things such as long queues outside clubs, that make us want to go in because we are made to believe it must be good, if so many people are doing this, only to find it is nearly empty when we go in. He calls this 'treachery' because it is harming our gift to create shortcuts. Something we need more and more of these days, with all the information that bombards us!
he suggests that we complain loudly when we see such trickery, in order that it is no longer effective and thus protecting the accuracy of our shortcuts. I have always said this and so totally agree.
I loved it, not just because he delivers this theory in such an eloquent and intelligent way but because it helps me to explain why stereotyping does not have to be a negative thing! Judgements are here to stay so let's just understand why we think and feel the way we do sometimes. And above all, never ignore your intuition!
Tuesday, 30 August 2011
Confidently help your Teenager pass their Exams
Yes honestly!
I am about to deliver a brand new unique workshop for parents who want to practically and emotionally help their children to exam success.
This is a very difficult time for parents. There is a fine line between helping, empowering and interfereing in the year of revision, studying and taking the exams. If your children are going to take theirs in the next couple of years, then this is for you.
Many schools now teach children about the Visual, Auditory and Kinaesthetic way we learn stuff. You may have even heard your child say 'hey, I am a visual person' etc. But what the schools do not do is show them how to use all their senses to enhance the way they learn and revise, and nor do they show parents the major part that they can play in the success of the studying strategy.
in the 3 hour workshop, I will show you:
How to communicate to bring out the best in your teen's behaviour during this stressful time
How to practically help out subtlely without interfering
How to show them different ways of revising that are fun
How to coach your children to empower them and eliminate procrastination
Top tips and tools that will help the whole family
The return on your investment will be such, that, you will be glad you decided to put your money where your mouth is. I am so confident about your experience that I will give you your money back if you are not satisfied.
The workshop will be repeated in the evening for those that work, and places will be limited.
If you are interested then please contact me on nadia@naccoaching.co.uk to get yourself on a list and hear first about the dates, venue etc in near future.
I promise to impress you with my unique style and quality of content and there will also be an opportunity for your child to receive a follow up discounted session from me nearer to their exams.
I am about to deliver a brand new unique workshop for parents who want to practically and emotionally help their children to exam success.
This is a very difficult time for parents. There is a fine line between helping, empowering and interfereing in the year of revision, studying and taking the exams. If your children are going to take theirs in the next couple of years, then this is for you.
Many schools now teach children about the Visual, Auditory and Kinaesthetic way we learn stuff. You may have even heard your child say 'hey, I am a visual person' etc. But what the schools do not do is show them how to use all their senses to enhance the way they learn and revise, and nor do they show parents the major part that they can play in the success of the studying strategy.
in the 3 hour workshop, I will show you:
How to communicate to bring out the best in your teen's behaviour during this stressful time
How to practically help out subtlely without interfering
How to show them different ways of revising that are fun
How to coach your children to empower them and eliminate procrastination
Top tips and tools that will help the whole family
The return on your investment will be such, that, you will be glad you decided to put your money where your mouth is. I am so confident about your experience that I will give you your money back if you are not satisfied.
The workshop will be repeated in the evening for those that work, and places will be limited.
If you are interested then please contact me on nadia@naccoaching.co.uk to get yourself on a list and hear first about the dates, venue etc in near future.
I promise to impress you with my unique style and quality of content and there will also be an opportunity for your child to receive a follow up discounted session from me nearer to their exams.
Tuesday, 23 August 2011
Mastermind meeting APCTC 4/9
Next months meeting of the Suffolk Association of Professional Coaches, Trainers and Consultants sees us focusing on great copywriting.
We will be welcoming Elspeth Taylor, from Taylor Made, to show us how to write a great campaign by letter, email etc followed by coaching from me and then the q&a mastermind session.
Visitors are welcomed for free on their first visit so if you are a fellow service provider then come along, you have nothing to lose.
Full details and sign up on
Www.apctc.com/suffolk
We will be welcoming Elspeth Taylor, from Taylor Made, to show us how to write a great campaign by letter, email etc followed by coaching from me and then the q&a mastermind session.
Visitors are welcomed for free on their first visit so if you are a fellow service provider then come along, you have nothing to lose.
Full details and sign up on
Www.apctc.com/suffolk
Thursday, 18 August 2011
Calling Simon Clegg!
I have loved football since I started supporting Arsenal in 1971.
Moving to Ipswich as a teenager meant that the Gunners had competition for my heart from Ipswich Town. When I finally couldn't resist the easy trip to the local ground, so began my most important hobby as a 'tractor girl'.
I have been on Radio Suffolk this week to talk about how I think a lack of confidence in some players,is affecting the team,as a whole, resulting in that horrible loss against Southampton.
The physical side of training is not my bag, being a person that hates the gym and any activity that requires using equipment. I love to walk and that's about it.
My area of expertise lays in the bit between the ears, inside the mind of people who are highly skilled at their jobs but not using it to their full potential, for various reasons including lack of self belief and esteem.
I meant it when I boldly proclaimed on the radio that I would willingly use my coaching and NLP skills to help the team out for absolutely nothing!
What would I do then, some have asked.
Self belief for the footballers will be determined by various aspects of their game, mainly associated with their most recent successes, being well prepared, working hard, having a good support structure and an understanding of their own strategy for thinking.
I would start with outcome thinking for the team and individuals
Using NLP (neuro linguistic programming)to tap into their past successes,
Using NLP to enhance team work
Visualisation
Provide tools for staying calm and patient during setbacks
Eliminating self doubt
One to one confidence coaching where relevant
I know that some listeners would have been sceptical about my bold assumption that my reward would be promotion but I can only feel this confident because of the success of my work and clients testimonials.
What have they got to lose? An inspiring manager would bite my arm off for a chance to improve the mental capacity of their athletes.
So Simon Clegg Come on and take up this offer! I am waiting.......
Moving to Ipswich as a teenager meant that the Gunners had competition for my heart from Ipswich Town. When I finally couldn't resist the easy trip to the local ground, so began my most important hobby as a 'tractor girl'.
I have been on Radio Suffolk this week to talk about how I think a lack of confidence in some players,is affecting the team,as a whole, resulting in that horrible loss against Southampton.
The physical side of training is not my bag, being a person that hates the gym and any activity that requires using equipment. I love to walk and that's about it.
My area of expertise lays in the bit between the ears, inside the mind of people who are highly skilled at their jobs but not using it to their full potential, for various reasons including lack of self belief and esteem.
I meant it when I boldly proclaimed on the radio that I would willingly use my coaching and NLP skills to help the team out for absolutely nothing!
What would I do then, some have asked.
Self belief for the footballers will be determined by various aspects of their game, mainly associated with their most recent successes, being well prepared, working hard, having a good support structure and an understanding of their own strategy for thinking.
I would start with outcome thinking for the team and individuals
Using NLP (neuro linguistic programming)to tap into their past successes,
Using NLP to enhance team work
Visualisation
Provide tools for staying calm and patient during setbacks
Eliminating self doubt
One to one confidence coaching where relevant
I know that some listeners would have been sceptical about my bold assumption that my reward would be promotion but I can only feel this confident because of the success of my work and clients testimonials.
What have they got to lose? An inspiring manager would bite my arm off for a chance to improve the mental capacity of their athletes.
So Simon Clegg Come on and take up this offer! I am waiting.......
Friday, 12 August 2011
How to Prioritise your Projects
This morning I hosted a breakfast coaching session for members of my mastermind group.
Over coffee and bacon buttes, we discussed our coaching businesses and how we prioritise all the different projects within them.
Many of my clients outside of this have problems with marketing because their message is not clear. This can be down to lack of niching but also can be attributed to the various processes that are used to deliver the service or product.
One of the members shared a way of looking at how to measure priorities and I really loved it.
It is represented by the following criteria:
Time it will take
Energy it will use
Resources it will need,including eqipment, IT, people etc
Cost of time and implementation
Passion for the project
The above criteria needs to determine:
ROI
Future Business
Personal growth
Lifestyle
I don't know about you but I rarely write down the above factors when thinking about a new project, rather I am driven by the passion aspect and then cost. Time it will take is often not planned out as I get carried away with the whole 'I am going to love this'!
Coaches especially have so many business models to choose from and often try to embrace more than one. However it is important to align everything to your brand and niche and ensure each project can be sustained in terms of the criteria above.
Hope this is useful. Please feel free to share your ideas in the comments.
Over coffee and bacon buttes, we discussed our coaching businesses and how we prioritise all the different projects within them.
Many of my clients outside of this have problems with marketing because their message is not clear. This can be down to lack of niching but also can be attributed to the various processes that are used to deliver the service or product.
One of the members shared a way of looking at how to measure priorities and I really loved it.
It is represented by the following criteria:
Time it will take
Energy it will use
Resources it will need,including eqipment, IT, people etc
Cost of time and implementation
Passion for the project
The above criteria needs to determine:
ROI
Future Business
Personal growth
Lifestyle
I don't know about you but I rarely write down the above factors when thinking about a new project, rather I am driven by the passion aspect and then cost. Time it will take is often not planned out as I get carried away with the whole 'I am going to love this'!
Coaches especially have so many business models to choose from and often try to embrace more than one. However it is important to align everything to your brand and niche and ensure each project can be sustained in terms of the criteria above.
Hope this is useful. Please feel free to share your ideas in the comments.
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