One of the quotes that I most object to is " treat others how you would like to be treated" or even " treat others how they would like to be treated".
The reasons I object to this are actually really simple. As a confidence coach I believe you need to understand where others are coming from, before you can communicate fully and cleanly with them. As a coach I will always do this with my clients to enable them to explore fully what the issues are, BUT as a person going about my daily life, I will do this to a point, and then I will expect the respect to be reciprocated.
My motto after that is often 'treat others how they treat you"
My values and moral coding are of a high standard. I have worked on them long and hard over the years, especially during my NLP tranining, and some things come naturally to me, like being friendly, confident, caring and inquisitive. My values create my behaviour and if someone does not like what they see or if they feel uncomfortable with such an honest and outgoing person, then it is for them to go away and try to understand my position and to remain open minded. I do not believe that it is only up to one person to do the work. Boundaries need to be in place for all parties, for us to love and respect one another. However I have often found that by making the effort, people do try to meet others half way and relationships can be improved immensely by being persistent in any positive endeavours.
Being authentic is one of my most important values. Having integrity and honesty is how I can sleep at night.
I am me and proud of it too.
There is also the scenario where, despite all best efforts, the other person does not return the favour. My clients often question if one is a mug to continue to "treat people how we would like to be treated" when it is blatantly not appreciated?
Personally, I have never pretended to be a saint and nor would I want anyone to be a doormat. Part of being confident is to stand up for our values and to put boundaries in place.
The original quote is much more complex than first sight and perhaps it does not mean it in the way I think. Then if not it is patronising, for I believe nearly everyone tries to belong and be to be liked. Even those that appear arrogant are usually lacking in self belief.
People generally are respectful and do not need the obvious to be stated.
What do you think?