Monday, 19 December 2011

Being the Captain of Your Inner Team

Integrity is the most important quality a person can have. It underlines all the values, that a person holds, and allows them to be evident and congruent in their everyday activities.
To be successful in life, we require the trust and respect of other people, and no more so than in a leadership role. Being a captain, not only means leading others, it also means being in control of your own behaviour, success and life.
Perhaps you may think that you are either born a leader or not, but I happen to think that leadership skills can be taught and then honed with experience, dedication and by practising self discipline, until it becomes a habit.
Role models inspire, motivate, lead and deliver on their promises. They use their values to make decisions and search constantly on how they can help others to succeed. They listen to others fully, without judgment whilst probing and clarifying.
Language is so important and great leaders know that one simple word can be the difference between good conversations and damaging ones.
Take the word BUT for instance. Listening to someone and then saying ‘But’ negates everything they have just said, whereas using the word ‘and’ instead still provides us with a chance to express our own thoughts whilst acknowledging the other person.

'But I don’t want to be the Captain!' You might be thinking. That may be so, but surely you would like to be the Captain of your Inner Team (all the different parts that make the unique You!).
Here are mine:

The Dreamer – To aspire and think big
The Logical Genius – to establish the problem and find solutions
The Voice of Reason – to remain calm and dignified
The Warrior – to be bold, confident and to fight my teams corner
The Intuition Expert – to listen to gut and then shore up the message

Think about the people you admire most. Who are your role models, those that you look up to? What are the qualities and strengths that they exhibit, that makes you admire them.
Find your inner team by aligning those values with your own, give them a name or description as I have with mine, and call upon them whenever they are needed

My book The Beautiful Inner Game is being written at the moment. It will help people to make the changes they want and need to, in their lives, whether it be work, home or both.

Monday, 5 December 2011

DANAMIC Coaching to help Release Your Genius

What is DANAMIC Coaching?
It is, quite frankly, the most advanced and comprehensive life/personal coach training system in the UK today.
It is VERY powerful stuff and consists of 8 one to one coaching sessions of approx 90 mins each.
It combines the very latest in NLP, NAC, hypnosis, time line therapy and coaching techniques into one simple 7 step system for change and was developed by one of my favourite coaches and colleagues, Andy Harrington.
I can use this system to;
  • Make you confident and happy
  • Help you lose weight even after years of trying
  • Improve your relationships
  • Help you to become confident and successful in your business
  • Eliminate negative and sabotaging behaviour
  • Eliminate stress and lack of energy
  • Release the genius that is in you
I promise that you will be blown away by the results and I have a money back guarantee policy which I am happy to discuss with you.
A two week holiday or designer outfit could cost you more than this programme. However this is an investment in your whole life, not just one occasion!
Please read this from one of my recent clients who invested in this programme:

Testimonial from Sally In Ipswich
I am writing this because I am delighted at the positive effect on my outlook following the DANAMIC coaching sessions.
I had been struggling with my weight for over 30 years and it affected my life.
When I first started to follow diets I was slim and a size 10/12 but had friends who were smaller so always felt enormous. I started with starving myself and ended up bingeing when I couldn’t cope with the hunger. For many years my weight only went up slightly but it was still making me miserable. I was either being ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and it took over my life.
When I had my children I managed to lose quite a bit of weight but I never got low enough to be happy and even though I stopped the starving and bingeing. I still did not feel in control.
About eight years ago I got fed up with the diets and every time I joined a slimming club it lasted just a short time as I could never cope with the disappointment when I did not lose. Unfortunately this meant I have put on five stone in eight years.
When I started the coaching sessions with Nadia, I did not really believe that it would work. The first few sessions were challenging but I found it easier to answer the questions than in previous counselling sessions.
I also found I was having a more positive attitude and concentrating on other things beside my weight. I now know that I will achieve my goals in my personal and business life.
After about five sessions I felt an amazing calm and happiness. I also felt extremely strong. This continued through all the sessions and after. Of course, it does not stop things going wrong but it made it easier to cope with what life threw at me, something that I failed at before by turning to food.
I would thoroughly recommend DANAMIC coaching, for remarkable results.

Friday, 18 November 2011

Why you should join a mastermind group

I have just finished preparing for Sundays mastermind group and as usual, I am really excited about how much my members will benefit from another great speaker and a coaching session from me.

If you provide a service then you can't afford not to be surrounded by a group of like minded people who you can learn from, support and use as a sounding board.

This is what we have covered so far since we started in Feb 2011:

Know your niche
Develop your USP
How to use social media
Write a marketing strategy
Learn how to make a product to sell
Website enhancements
How to write compelling copy
Making the most of LinkedIn
Using twitter and blog to best effect
Co-coaching concepts
Branding (this week)

On top of that we have access to my colleague Dan Bradbury and faculty members of APCTC such as the fantastic Topher Morrison, Andy Harrington, Jarek Robbins and many more.
free membership to Association of Professional Coaches Trainers and Consultants is automatic when you join my group.

And the real beauty is that you can try it for free once, before making your mind up.

What more can I give you in order for you to get more clients and make more profit?

Book your place on

Wednesday, 16 November 2011

Don't miss great speaker at my next Mastermind meeting this Sunday

This Sunday sees our ninth meeting since the mastermind group formed and things are hotting up!

Our guest speaker is Ivan Newman from Living In the Brand who is a much valued friend and colleague.

He will be talking about branding and then we will coach members on how to enhance their brand within their businesses. I know this is going to be so useful and powerful.

This year will be the only times I will be letting in first time visitors for free. So make the most of this fabulous opportunity to listen to a branding expert.

There will also be the usual question and answer session for members to support, offer advice or assist. This is the most valued part of our meeting and some great ideas have come forth. We continue to share knowledge between sessions and in fact my members get to attend my other workshops for free or with a huge discount.

Sign up on my page and look forward to seeing you!

Tuesday, 18 October 2011

New Workshop - Confidently help Your Teens pass their GCSE's

Having completed some research including surveys, I appear to have tapped into a much needed area with my next workshop.

I am about to deliver a brand new unique workshop for parents who want to practically and emotionally help their children to exam success.

This is a very difficult time for parents. There is a fine line between helping, empowering and interfereing in the year of revision, studying and taking the exams. If your children are going to take theirs in the next couple of years, then this is for you.

I have coached many teens on a one to one basis, but I feel it is much more effective, financially and long term to teach the parents the tools I use to help young people pass their exams.

in the 3 hour workshop, I will show you:

How to communicate to bring out the best in your teen's behaviour during this stressful time
How to practically help out subtlely without interfering
How to show them different ways of revising that are fun
How to coach your children to empower them and eliminate procrastination
Motivate and inspire
Top tips and tools that will help the whole family

Dates start in November. Price is £ 55 plus vat

The workshop will be repeated in the evening for those that work.

If you are interested then please contact me on to get yourself on preliminary list.

I promise to impress you with my unique style and quality of content and there will also be an opportunity for your child to receive a follow up discounted session from me nearer to their exams.

Monday, 3 October 2011

Does my 'BUT' look too big?

I have been listening to some recordings from Topher Morrison, one of my favourite coaches and a colleague at APCTC.

He talks about the art of negotiation using NLP tools and reminded me about using the word BUT.

It took me a long while but now I rarely use the word but unless it refers to something I might be saying eg

I would love to go out in the sunshine but I have too much work

After much practice I now replace it with the word AND as much as I can because BUT just negates everything someone has just said to you! The word HOWEVER sort of does too but it not quite so obvious. So for example if a person is expressing an opinion you disagree with, the word AND will build bridges whilst allowing you to still add your opinion.

try it and see the difference when communicating....

Thursday, 8 September 2011

Stereotyping is just a 'shortcut' - Not a Crime!

When I finished reading Cialdini's The Psychology of Persuasion I was particularly satisfied with his final chapter which I will discuss further on in my blog. Before that, I would like to explain why I have titled this piece as I have.

In recent years it has become almost a crime to utter any sort of suggestion where we might be stereotyping. But to do this is to misunderstand one of our greatest gifts, which is to use our intuition and develop 'shortcuts' as Cialdini calls them.

Let me explain:

I truly believe that intuition is a result of millions of pieces of information that we take in, on a subconscious basis, especially if that is reinforced by personal experiences on a conscious basis. When we take an instant dislike to someone or an instant warmth to another human being, it is not down to just random thought processes.

Let's take hoodies for an example, one which is often mentioned. When I feel uncomfortable around a group of people wearing such clothes, it is not merely their headwear that will cause me to be vigilant, but perhaps a look in their eyes where I will see something that makes me feel uncomfortable and on edge. I have always trusted this gut feeling and it has rarely let me down. However this does not mean that I believe I am in danger, just I know my subconscious has computed something which I would be a fool to ignore. It's called survival!

If I take an instant dislike to someone, then I will look for all the evidence to show that I am wrong (yes I repeat, that I am wrong!). I believe everyone has good intentions unless they are in a bad place and I like to find that. Again though, I will eventually work out what it was that made me feel that I would not connect properly with someone because I accept that we will not all be able to work or play with everyone we meet, for all sorts of reasons.

Cialdini talks about the principle of social proof and where one of our shortcuts is to like things that 'people like us' would like too. This is how advertising works. This is, in effect, a form of stereotyping, don't you think?

He talks about things such as long queues outside clubs, that make us want to go in because we are made to believe it must be good, if so many people are doing this, only to find it is nearly empty when we go in. He calls this 'treachery' because it is harming our gift to create shortcuts. Something we need more and more of these days, with all the information that bombards us!

he suggests that we complain loudly when we see such trickery, in order that it is no longer effective and thus protecting the accuracy of our shortcuts. I have always said this and so totally agree.

I loved it, not just because he delivers this theory in such an eloquent and intelligent way but because it helps me to explain why stereotyping does not have to be a negative thing! Judgements are here to stay so let's just understand why we think and feel the way we do sometimes. And above all, never ignore your intuition!

Tuesday, 30 August 2011

Confidently help your Teenager pass their Exams

Yes honestly!

I am about to deliver a brand new unique workshop for parents who want to practically and emotionally help their children to exam success.

This is a very difficult time for parents. There is a fine line between helping, empowering and interfereing in the year of revision, studying and taking the exams. If your children are going to take theirs in the next couple of years, then this is for you.

Many schools now teach children about the Visual, Auditory and Kinaesthetic way we learn stuff. You may have even heard your child say 'hey, I am a visual person' etc. But what the schools do not do is show them how to use all their senses to enhance the way they learn and revise, and nor do they show parents the major part that they can play in the success of the studying strategy.

in the 3 hour workshop, I will show you:

How to communicate to bring out the best in your teen's behaviour during this stressful time
How to practically help out subtlely without interfering
How to show them different ways of revising that are fun
How to coach your children to empower them and eliminate procrastination
Top tips and tools that will help the whole family

The return on your investment will be such, that, you will be glad you decided to put your money where your mouth is. I am so confident about your experience that I will give you your money back if you are not satisfied.

The workshop will be repeated in the evening for those that work, and places will be limited.

If you are interested then please contact me on to get yourself on a list and hear first about the dates, venue etc in near future.

I promise to impress you with my unique style and quality of content and there will also be an opportunity for your child to receive a follow up discounted session from me nearer to their exams.

Tuesday, 23 August 2011

Mastermind meeting APCTC 4/9

Next months meeting of the Suffolk Association of Professional Coaches, Trainers and Consultants sees us focusing on great copywriting.

We will be welcoming Elspeth Taylor, from Taylor Made, to show us how to write a great campaign by letter, email etc followed by coaching from me and then the q&a mastermind session.

Visitors are welcomed for free on their first visit so if you are a fellow service provider then come along, you have nothing to lose.

Full details and sign up on

Thursday, 18 August 2011

Calling Simon Clegg!

I have loved football since I started supporting Arsenal in 1971.

Moving to Ipswich as a teenager meant that the Gunners had competition for my heart from Ipswich Town. When I finally couldn't resist the easy trip to the local ground, so began my most important hobby as a 'tractor girl'.

I have been on Radio Suffolk this week to talk about how I think a lack of confidence in some players,is affecting the team,as a whole, resulting in that horrible loss against Southampton.

The physical side of training is not my bag, being a person that hates the gym and any activity that requires using equipment. I love to walk and that's about it.

My area of expertise lays in the bit between the ears, inside the mind of people who are highly skilled at their jobs but not using it to their full potential, for various reasons including lack of self belief and esteem.

I meant it when I boldly proclaimed on the radio that I would willingly use my coaching and NLP skills to help the team out for absolutely nothing!

What would I do then, some have asked.

Self belief for the footballers will be determined by various aspects of their game, mainly associated with their most recent successes, being well prepared, working hard, having a good support structure and an understanding of their own strategy for thinking.

I would start with outcome thinking for the team and individuals
Using NLP (neuro linguistic programming)to tap into their past successes,
Using NLP to enhance team work
Provide tools for staying calm and patient during setbacks
Eliminating self doubt
One to one confidence coaching where relevant

I know that some listeners would have been sceptical about my bold assumption that my reward would be promotion but I can only feel this confident because of the success of my work and clients testimonials.

What have they got to lose? An inspiring manager would bite my arm off for a chance to improve the mental capacity of their athletes.

So Simon Clegg Come on and take up this offer! I am waiting.......

Friday, 12 August 2011

How to Prioritise your Projects

This morning I hosted a breakfast coaching session for members of my mastermind group.
Over coffee and bacon buttes, we discussed our coaching businesses and how we prioritise all the different projects within them.
Many of my clients outside of this have problems with marketing because their message is not clear. This can be down to lack of niching but also can be attributed to the various processes that are used to deliver the service or product.

One of the members shared a way of looking at how to measure priorities and I really loved it.

It is represented by the following criteria:

Time it will take
Energy it will use
Resources it will need,including eqipment, IT, people etc
Cost of time and implementation
Passion for the project

The above criteria needs to determine:

Future Business
Personal growth

I don't know about you but I rarely write down the above factors when thinking about a new project, rather I am driven by the passion aspect and then cost. Time it will take is often not planned out as I get carried away with the whole 'I am going to love this'!

Coaches especially have so many business models to choose from and often try to embrace more than one. However it is important to align everything to your brand and niche and ensure each project can be sustained in terms of the criteria above.

Hope this is useful. Please feel free to share your ideas in the comments.

Tuesday, 2 August 2011

Values are King

This piece is a thank you to one of my own coaches Kevin Hall of APCTC.
He doesn't know this yet but our last chat gave me an incredible insight into one of my values when he said to me "so saving time means a lot to you". I immediately agreed as I have always known this but then when I reflected on this more, as only verbalising something can make you do, I realised that it has more of an influence on my daily life than I had firSt thought.
As the week went by I suddenly took notice of all the behaviours I had surrounding this great value of "not wasting time".
I have to admit that the dark side of this is impatience and it manifested itself in several ways.
The first instance was when I realised that saving time was more important than money and that I will use my car, not out of laziness, but so that I can fit in more social media or housework or anything that needs doing.
I noticed that my thought processes are always trying to come up with compromises, on behalf of everyone, without taking the time to share my thoughts with all involved so that the decision making is shared. The result may be the same but at least then I am not seen to be in my "impatient" mode.

The story does not end there - It came up again when I was in Norwich on Friday to be with the fabulous Topher Morrison, to hone and tone my speaking skills.
The first thing that struck me was how I do not tell a story in ENOUGH detail! Where others give you every small part of the picture to try and show you the story into your minds, I was giving little more than the headlines.
This is because I didn't want to waste THEIR time! I had a belief that the audience would rather I just got to the point. Topher showed me how I could make my story so much more compelling and it was a real aha moment.
Though so simple this has changed my whole way of thinking and it was the 2 sessions together that made me see the light.
I pride myself in my good time management but sometimes the value of taking your time to express yourself, or to go for a walk to the shops instead of taking the car, or to communicate what you need out loud, can be much more beneficial than "saving time".
However much we understand ourselves, there is always more to know.
So thanks Kevin and thanks Topher!

Monday, 1 August 2011

How do you treat others?

One of the quotes that I most object to is " treat others how you would like to be treated" or even " treat others how they would like to be treated".
The reasons I object to this are actually really simple. As a confidence coach I believe you need to understand where others are coming from, before you can communicate fully and cleanly with them. As a coach I will always do this with my clients to enable them to explore fully what the issues are, BUT as a person going about my daily life, I will do this to a point, and then I will expect the respect to be reciprocated.
My motto after that is often 'treat others how they treat you"
My values and moral coding are of a high standard. I have worked on them long and hard over the years, especially during my NLP tranining, and some things come naturally to me, like being friendly, confident, caring and inquisitive. My values create my behaviour and if someone does not like what they see or if they feel uncomfortable with such an honest and outgoing person, then it is for them to go away and try to understand my position and to remain open minded. I do not believe that it is only up to one person to do the work. Boundaries need to be in place for all parties, for us to love and respect one another. However I have often found that by making the effort, people do try to meet others half way and relationships can be improved immensely by being persistent in any positive endeavours.
Being authentic is one of my most important values. Having integrity and honesty is how I can sleep at night.
I am me and proud of it too.
There is also the scenario where, despite all best efforts, the other person does not return the favour. My clients often question if one is a mug to continue to "treat people how we would like to be treated" when it is blatantly not appreciated?
Personally, I have never pretended to be a saint and nor would I want anyone to be a doormat. Part of being confident is to stand up for our values and to put boundaries in place.
The original quote is much more complex than first sight and perhaps it does not mean it in the way I think. Then if not it is patronising, for I believe nearly everyone tries to belong and be to be liked. Even those that appear arrogant are usually lacking in self belief.
People generally are respectful and do not need the obvious to be stated.
What do you think?

Monday, 25 July 2011

Confidently niche yourself part 3

If you have a niche but cannot vocalise it, then you will not be able to communicate it in a compelling way and so it's not really a niche.

Your target market or person needs to be understood by you, in order for you to be able to motivate or influence them. Different groups of people have different values or want different outcomes and by narrowing your search you will be able to find them easily and let them know what you offer that they need or desire.

This is the area that is most difficult to get to grips with but the whole exercise can be repeated for other niches you may have. I have 3 niches - schools, small business owners and teams but the language I use while in a classroom of teachers and their pupils, is nothing like my elevator pitch that I would use in a business setting. Obvious, yes, but missed by so many organisations. Work out who your decision maker or buyer is within your niche.

Another way to differentiate yourself is by the 4th P, which is Process. So if you are in a niche where there are other companies that do the same thing as you with a similar group of people, then you can stand out by making the process in which you deliver this service, unique. One great example of this is the new craze for getting rid of dead skin on your feet by sticking them in water and allowing small fish to nibble away. Beauty salons all over the uk are able to give the same result but the fish thing is a compelling and fun way of achieving smooth feet!

So try and communicate your niche using pain, person, process in a passionate 30 second elevator pitch and try it out next time you are networking.

Friday, 22 July 2011

Confidently Niche Yourself tip 2

To have an effective power niche you need to understand the pain that you are trying to ease or eliminate. This could be a problem or a goal that has yet to be achieved.

Many coaches and trainers are yet to differentiate themselves in this way and are missing a great marketing tool. After all, that is all niching is - it does not stop us helping those outside of our niche.

Competition is high in the service industry and we have to carefully consider what outcomes we feel passionate about delivering, and where we can make a real difference. It will give you credibility and authority.

For instance a health coach is still too broad. Is it about losing weight, more energy, sleeping, stress, etc?

The next thing that needs to be considered is the Target Marget and identifying who you wish to work with. Narrowing your focus will make it easier for you to find them and then communicate your message, benefits and the impact your services will have on their lives.

More on that next time.....

Monday, 18 July 2011

Confidently Niche Yourself tip 1

As a regular presenter and speaker, I have found that we all have had a problem niching ourselves properly at some point in our business lives. I made the same mistake seven years ago when I started my coaching business but thankfully wised up to the power of niching pretty quickly.

There have been several occasions when a business owner has defended their position of being everything to everybody and then looking at me as if I must be mad to turn away potential business.

Niching is a marketing tool and it does not stop us from accepting other customers but helps us to target our market and speak their language. It is the easiest and cheapest way to differentiate ourselves and gain expert status in our field.

However it does require research, and not the assumption that our target marget needs what we have to offer, just because we think it's so brilliant!

The primary fear that prevents people from choosing a niche is worry that they will be missing out on clients outside their chosen area. So let me ask you this... How is that working out for you so far?

Niche tip number One is to pick your absolute passion. Work will seem like fun and procrastination disappears easily from your day!

I promise!

Sunday, 17 July 2011

Mastermind group meeting APCTC Social Media

My mastermind group are busy with an activity I have given them as part of our meeting today. Eileen Brown has buzzed up the whole group including those that were sceptical about how effective it all is. Great tips and info. Take a look at Eileens blog for details of her great book.!/page/1
My members are entitled to attend my Confidence series workshops for free. Next one is
Confidently Niche Yourself.
Look out for further blogs for details

Friday, 15 July 2011

Let me and Dan Bradbury do the Hard Work!

How much information can we all take? I ask myself that regularly.

As a MasterMind leader, Partnering Dan Bradbury, part of every week is spent listening, learning and reviewing materials to see if they are of any merit, who’s using them, and if they work. If they do I'll incorporate them into my own business.
Some of the stuff I see is a waste of my time because it is poor or old hat.
So how can you avoid this complete and utter waste of your valuable time? Clearly you need a reliable source of information supplied by accredited contributors. And these people can't just be just writing the stuff - they have to be living and breathing it every day, in their own businesses - they have to use it themselves.
And that's just what the APCTC provides – quality information that works. The Faculty members are all experts in their own specialised fields, and they always apply what they supply in their own highly successful businesses.
So why not join the APCTC today - the first year membership is absolutely free and you’ll get immediate access to a vast library of business knowledge which you can apply immediately.
To enrol, simply go to the APCTC membership page and let our experts work for you.
Plus your first visit to a mastermind group meeting is also free so that you can try it out for yourself first.
Have a look at to sign up for a mastermind event in Ipswich, Suffolk

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

Suffolk Mastermind Group meeting - APCTC

This Sunday sees the 5th monthly meeting of the Suffolk Mastermind group for business people in Ipswich and surrounding area. I partner Dan Bradbury, UK's top marketing coach, to work together to give real value to membership of the Association of Professional Coaches, Trainers and Consultants.

Each meeting consists of a guest speaker, giving good content on marketing, 1 hour coaching session led by me and a q&a mastermind session where we support each member in their quest to grow their business.

We also have a development day in between meetings in order to take ourselves away from the office to implement the new learnings.

This Sunday 17th July 2011 at 1pm at the Holiday Inn Ipswich we have a great guest speaker, Eileen Brown for Amastra who is going to talk to the members on the importance of social networking and how to use twitter. Eileen has written a book on the subject, which I believe has reached the top 100 on Amazon. Not to be missed!

Guests are invited free to their first session so please come along and experience the value of these 3 hour mastermind meetings for yourself with no obligation. Book on or contact me -